I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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