I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
