she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.