I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.