Texts From Last Night

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  (863): View more from Florida

  Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!

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  (863): Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/werm
  Replies (9) Good night (855) Bad night (1861)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm in love with you.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  huh?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.

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  (860): I'm in love with you. (1-860): huh? (860): Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it. http://tfl.nu/in9v
  Replies (14) Good night (3123) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job

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  (347): We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job http://tfl.nu/wtkj
  Replies (18) Good night (651) Bad night (4327)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay

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  (626): you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay http://tfl.nu/yxo6
  Replies (10) Good night (852) Bad night (4677)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does

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  (415): I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does http://tfl.nu/67y4
  Replies (10) Good night (2985) Bad night (716)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.

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  (480): It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos. http://tfl.nu/s5gg
  Replies (4) Good night (794) Bad night (2523)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.

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  (253): I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears. http://tfl.nu/f427
  Replies (8) Good night (668) Bad night (1553)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high

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  (814): You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high http://tfl.nu/8t28
  Replies (7) Good night (1208) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.

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  (720): I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help. http://tfl.nu/0nf6
  Replies (5) Good night (396) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?

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  (816): Wait. Wine + Crossbow..? http://tfl.nu/8knj
  Replies (6) Good night (961) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower

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  (262): I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower http://tfl.nu/cieg
  Replies (7) Good night (849) Bad night (300)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.

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  (902): after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart. http://tfl.nu/tash
  Replies (4) Good night (783) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.

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  (540): Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents. http://tfl.nu/vksy
  Replies (11) Good night (408) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.

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  (616): Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high. http://tfl.nu/9cx2
  Replies (0) Good night (563) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work

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  (773): He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work http://tfl.nu/kpsp
  Replies (0) Good night (661) Bad night (170)

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