Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
