I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
