dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
