fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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