my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize