I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize