I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
