tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
