operation have a gay friend backfired
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
