forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
