Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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