i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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