is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
