Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
