he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
