TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
