you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
