And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The best revenge is premature balding
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
