I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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