You surviving the open bar?
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no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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