Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
