make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
