Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
