you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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