Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
