She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
