you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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