is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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