She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
