You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
