i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize