What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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