somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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