I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize