I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
