This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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