Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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