he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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