I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
