I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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