You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
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i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
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I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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