did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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