I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
