I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She told me I should be a condom model.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
