who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
