I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
