Do vagina's smell?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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