plz talk dirty to me
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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