NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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