Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
