My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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