Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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